Redefining Commitment: When Our Beliefs Hold Us Back
Hey there! I'm Whit, your Energy Empowerment Guide with a camp counselor vibe, here to share some thoughts that can help you dive deeper into your journey of self-discovery. For this blog series and emails I like to call Channeled Messages for Humanity, I tune into specific topics and my higher self supplies questions and messages that come through as tools for expansion, empowerment, and uncovering more of our authentic selves. I tapped into a big one specifically because we’re in holiday season times—commitment—and, wow, did my higher self go right to the heart of things.
Here’s the question I received: How is my definition of commitment to someone or something keeping me from following my soul’s guidance or highest path?
You can probably feel that’s a potent question to sit with! And it’s not just about challenging our day-to-day choices. It’s an invitation to explore what commitment means to us and how some of our beliefs around it might be limiting us. So, if this question brings up something for you, consider meditating on it, sitting with it for a bit, journaling, or even talking it out with a friend to see where it leads you.
The Unbreakable Commitment Myth
In my own life, commitment has been a huge theme. Most people don’t know this, but I was once married. (I know, I might look younger than I am!) At that time, I bought into a pretty common belief about marriage—that it’s a commitment you don’t break, no matter what, unless there’s some extreme reason, like abuse or cheating. I thought that once you make that choice, you stick with it. And honestly, that mindset was holding me back.
For me, the truth was that my intuition knew that the relationship was no longer aligned with my path. But I pushed it aside, thinking, “I made this commitment; I have to see it through.” That sense of “duty” actually kept me disconnected from my truest, happiest self for a long time.
It was only when I really examined what commitment meant to me—and who I was truly committed to—that I found the courage to make the decision to move on. And when I did, it opened doors I never even knew existed. Staying in that marriage wouldn’t have led me to the work I’m doing today or the version of myself I am right now. It was a choice that allowed me to be more authentic, more myself.
Who Are You Really Committed To?
If you’re starting to examine your own commitments, it’s worth asking yourself: “Who or what am I really committed to?” Is it someone else’s expectations, your past decisions, or your own growth and authenticity?
It can be easy to get caught up in the idea that we have to follow through with every commitment, no matter the cost. But what if honoring our commitments to ourselves and our journey sometimes means stepping away from commitments we’ve outgrown?
Commitment doesn’t have to mean staying in a job you hate or keeping up with routines that don’t bring you joy. It could mean checking in with your intentions and deciding what’s in alignment for you right now. Maybe that commitment to the extended family tradition of a holiday meal feels like an amazing way to spend your time or maybe there’s something else that flows better with your life today.
Ancient Wisdom: Commitment Through Adaptability
Throughout history, many indigenous and ancient cultures have approached commitment not as a rigid, unchanging vow but as a living, adaptable relationship. For example, in Native American traditions, relationships with the land, the community, and the spirit world are honored through dynamic commitments that evolve with the seasons and the needs of the people. Commitments were not seen as static; instead, they were rooted in reciprocity and balance. If something was no longer in harmony with the whole, it was addressed with care and adaptability.
Similarly, the Taoist philosophy from ancient China emphasizes living in harmony with the natural flow of life, or “wu wei”—effortless action. This principle teaches that rigidly clinging to commitments can block the natural flow of energy and growth. Instead, commitment is viewed as a dance with life, where flexibility and alignment with the present moment are key. These ancient perspectives remind us that commitment doesn’t have to mean holding on at all costs. It can mean staying present, adaptable, and aligned with what’s true in the moment.
Modern Science: Flexibility and Mental Health
Modern science also supports the idea that adaptability in commitments leads to better mental health and overall well-being. Research has shown that cognitive flexibility—the ability to adjust our thinking and behavior in response to changing circumstances—is strongly linked to resilience and happiness. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that individuals who practice flexibility in their goals and commitments experience less stress and greater life satisfaction.
Statistics from the American Psychological Association (APA) reveal that rigidly holding on to unattainable or outdated goals can increase levels of anxiety and depression. In contrast, people who regularly reassess their commitments and adjust them to fit their evolving needs report feeling more in control of their lives. These findings highlight the importance of periodically revisiting our commitments and ensuring they align with our current values and aspirations.
Reflecting on Your Own Commitments
If this resonates, take some time to explore the ways your beliefs about commitment might be affecting your choices. Consider these prompts:
1. What am I committed to and why? — Is this commitment serving me and supporting my most aligned path or is it weighing me down?
2. How does my idea of commitment align with my authentic self? — Are my commitments helping me grow or are they keeping me in an old version of myself?
3. Am I open to change if it means being truer to myself? — What might you need to let go of to follow a path that’s more in alignment with your inner guidance?
Trusting the Broader Perspective
My experience taught me a lot about trusting my higher self. I believe our higher selves see everything from a bird’s-eye view: where we’re headed, what we’re here to create, and what paths lead us closest to our dreams and potential. And sometimes that guidance will nudge us to let go of things that no longer serve us—because something far greater is waiting.
That doesn’t mean we won’t feel fear or doubt. But it’s in those moments that a deeper, unconditional love from our higher self reminds us that we’re safe to grow and explore what truly resonates with us.
Try This: Commitment Reflection Exercise
For anyone feeling pulled to explore, here’s a little practice that can help you dig deeper:
1. Find a quiet space and journal on this question: “How is my definition of commitment keeping me from my most aligned path?”
2. List your commitments, big and small. See if any of them stand out as outdated or no longer aligned with who you are now.
3. Visualize releasing one commitment. Picture letting go of one thing that’s not serving you, whether it’s a mindset, a routine, or a relationship dynamic. Notice how it feels and see if any new possibilities or energies come to mind.
This practice is just one way to get closer to your authentic self, and it can be revisited as often as you like.
Finding Community in the Journey
For those of you who find it helpful to explore questions like these with others, there’s a beautiful, open community that meets to dive into these topics. It’s an amazing space where everyone is both a teacher and a student, and there’s no hierarchy—just a shared commitment to growth. If that speaks to you, check out the link here, or drop a comment if you’d like more information.
Remember, commitment is an incredible tool for growth, but only when it aligns with our true selves. So if you feel moved to explore or even redefine your relationship with commitment, go for it! Trust the process, and know that every step is part of becoming more you.
Love to you, always.
*I HIGHLY recommend checking out Native and Indigenous sources to do a deeper dive into the topic covered. The very short paragraph included here has the intention to bring awareness to this perspective, but not speak for it. Please check out more in depth information directly from the source!
